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No. Nope. Uh-uh. No way. No thanks. I can’t…. There are so many ways to say “no,” so why is it so hard for some of us?
Sensitive people don’t like to disappoint others. We want to help. Empaths know what you are feeling, what you want. Also, we have trouble with boundaries. A lot of trouble. And people who don’t respect boundaries are often drawn to us. Saying “no” is a challenge for us.
Two thoughts to keep in mind:
You can still be a good person and say no.
“No” is a complete sentence. ~ Annie Lamott
Highly sensitive people often say “yes” because they want to be kind. But is it really kind to say “yes” when you mean “no?” It is dishonest at best and underhanded at worst. Because when you say “yes” to a commitment but don’t mean it, you have planted the seeds of resentment.
” A great way to tell when you feel ‘no’ is to watch for resentfulness. Resentment is the red flag that lets you know you are in a situation with an energy imbalance, where you are giving more to a situation than you are getting back.” ~ Lisa Campion
It is normal and healthy to say “no” when you don’t want to do something. You are being true to yourself, you are being honest, and maybe there is someone else who actually wants to do the thing that you don’t want to do. (It’s also not a bad thing for someone to have to figure out something by themselves.)
Some advice:
~ Be direct. Use the “no” word.
~ Don’t apologize for saying no.
~ Giving a reason is optional.
~ Trust your feelings/gut.
~ Provide an alternative, if you wish.
~ Avoid serial askers.
Be prepared – people do not like hearing “no.” (Do you?) So there will be some uncomfortable feelings. We just gotta ride that wave til it passes. Not passing, make an exit til the tide clears.
People say “no” all the time. You can too. When you say “no” to others, it is often saying “yes” to yourself – to your beliefs, to your time, to your own needs. Say “yes” to you.
