“Come On!”

“Come on!” Two of my favorite words. Especially when said with conviction. Especially when the singer belts it out into a microphone (head nod, head nod), it is an open invitation. It’s a singer’s battlecry. It’s a dare. It’s a let me take you on this emotional adventure with me, and you won’t regret it. It’s a call to get out of yourself and a let go moment. “Come on” says trust me. Take the trip. Hop on board. Let the music envelop you and change you. Float out of yourself and go. That’s what it feels like at a concert with a riveting performer. “Come on!” calls out and intensifies the experience.

“Come on!” is a wink, a tease, and a plea. “Come on” says join me, connect with me, please. “Come on” entices because it says, “I want You.” “I’m going on an adventure, and I want you to be a part of it.” I feel a physical pull in my heart when I hear these words, and usually I’m a goner (in true empath style).

Your answer to “Come on!” can be public or private. (As in, no one else has to know what is going on internally.) It can be in a collective moment, like at a concert when the music pulsates through your body and you move with it, or it can be a more private moment, like going off with a friend to parts unknown. Either way, it is YOUR moment. You get to say yay or nay. But if you say yay, say it with conviction and go.

“Come on!” can also be a shout out to rejoin the fray. Get back in the game. Spirit away. When I need to let it out and move on, I put on music. My old favorite “Come on!” is from Jim Morrison and the Doors in “LA Woman.” My new favorite “Come on!” is  from Sophia Urista and Brass Against in “Wake Up.” Made loud to be played loud. Releases emotions big time.

And if your’e feeling brave, drop a “Come on!” to someone else to join you  ~ and let go. No holds barred.

How Did You Know?

How did you know that you are an empath? Do you remember when you first figured it out? Was it an a-ha moment or did it blindside you? Was it a gradual understanding or a bolt of lightning to the forehead (or should I say heart)? Did it fall into place or are you still struggling with it? And most importantly, how did the knowing CHANGE you?

For me, it was a welcome surprise. Quick story of discovery. (Note: I had never heard the word “empath” before.) I was having back pain and trying different therapies. Water therapist recommended massage therapy. She recommended a specific massage therapist because she thought we would “connect.” During an early session, the word “empath” appeared to me in big bold letters. (I kid you not.) I asked Kris (massage therapist) about it. What does empath mean? She told me, “Hmph. You should look into that.” Same night, I went home and did. This was the best information I found. (Link added at end of the list if you want to read the full article.) 27/30 for me.

“Here are 30 of the most common traits:

1. Knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told. It’s a knowing that goes way beyond intuition or gut feelings, even though that is how many would describe the knowing. The more attuned they are the stronger this gift becomes.

2. Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums where there are lots of people around can fill the empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from others.

3. Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own: This is a huge one for empaths. To some they will feel emotions off those near by and with others they will feel emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more adept empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts about them, even from great distance.

4. Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.

5. You know when someone is not being honest: If a friend or a loved one is telling you lies you know it (although many empaths try not to focus on this because knowing a loved one is lying can be painful). Or if someone is saying one thing but feeling/thinking another, you know.

6. Picking up physical symptoms off another: An empath will almost always develop the ailments off another (colds, eye infections, body aches and pains) especially those they’re closest to, somewhat like sympathy pains.

7. Digestive disorders and lower back problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre of the abdomen and it’s known as the seat of emotions. This is where empaths feel the incoming emotion of another, which can weaken the area and eventually lead to anything from stomach ulcers to IBS (too many other conditions to list here). Lower back problems can develop from being ungrounded (amongst other things) and one, who has no knowledge of them being an empath, will almost always be ungrounded.

8. Always looking out for the underdog: Anyone whose suffering, in emotional pain or being bullied draws an empath’s attention and compassion.

9. Others will want to offload their problems on you, even strangers: An empath can become a dumping ground for everyone else’s issues and problems, which, if they’re not careful can end up as their own.

10. Constant fatigue: Empaths often get drained of energy, either from energy vampires or just taking on too much from others, which even sleep will not cure. Many get diagnosed with ME.

11. Addictive personality: Alcohol, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions that empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others. It is a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something.

12. Drawn to healing, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical: Although many empaths would love to heal others they can end up turning away from being healers (even though they have a natural ability for it), after they’ve studied and qualified, because they take on too much from the one they are trying to heal. Especially if they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of interest to empaths and they don’t surprise or get shocked easily. Even at the revelation of what many others would consider unthinkable, for example, empaths would have known the world was round when others believed it was flat.

13. Creative: From singing, dancing, acting, drawing or writing an empath will have a strong creative streak and a vivid imagination.

14. Love of nature and animals: Being outdoors in nature is a must for empaths and pets are an essential part of their life.

15. Need for solitude: An empath will go stir-crazy if they don’t get quiet time. This is even obvious in empathic children.

16. Gets bored or distracted easily if not stimulated: Work, school and home life has to be kept interesting for an empath or they switch off from it and end up daydreaming or doodling.

17. Finds it impossible to do things they don’t enjoy: As above. Feels like they are living a lie by doing so. To force an empath to do something they dislike through guilt or labelling them as idle will only serve in making them unhappy. It’s for this reason many empaths get labelled as being lazy.

18. Strives for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an empath discovers his/her gifts and birthright. Anything untruthful feels plain wrong.

19. Always looking for the answers and knowledge: To have unanswered questions can be frustrating for an empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation. If they have a knowing about something they will look for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload.

20. Likes adventure, freedom and travel: Empaths are free spirits.

21. Abhors clutter: It makes an empath feel weighed down and blocks the flow of energy.

22. Loves to daydream: An empath can stare into space for hours, in a world of their own and blissfully happy.

23. Finds routine, rules or control, imprisoning: Anything that takes away their freedom is debilitating to an empath even poisoning.

24. Prone to carry weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight is a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact.

25. Excellent listener: An empath won’t talk about themselves much unless it’s to someone they really trust. They love to learn and know about others and genuinely care.

26. Intolerance to narcissism: Although kind and often very tolerant of others, empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people, who put themselves first and refuse to consider another’s feelings or points of view other than their own.

27. The ability to feel the days of the week: An empath will get the ‘Friday Feeling’ if they work Fridays or not. They pick up on how the collective are feeling. The first couple of days of a long, bank holiday weekend (Easter for example) can feel, to them, like the world is smiling, calm and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays, of a working week, have a very heavy feeling.

28. Will not choose to buy antiques, vintage or second-hand: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the energy of the previous owner. An empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house (if they are in the financial situation to do so) with no residual energy.

29. Sense the energy of food: Many empaths don’t like to eat meat or poultry because they can feel the vibrations of the animal (especially if the animal suffered), even if they like the taste.

30. Can appear moody, shy, aloof, disconnected: Depending on how an empath is feeling will depend on what face they show to the world. They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much negative will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable. An empath detests having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only adds to their load (makes working in the service industry, when it’s service with a smile, very challenging) and can make them feel like scuttling under a stone.

If you can say yes to most or all of the above then you are most definitely an empath.” ~ Christel Broederlow ~  https://themindunleashed.com/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

Knowing changed my life. Put my life in perspective. Made me like and understand me more. I wish the same for you, as we are kindred spirits. I dedicate today’s post 100 on Empath Lights’ website to us and to our journey of discovery.



“You are the best hugger.” Hear that many times? Empaths and highly sensitive people do. Our hugs stand out to those on the receiving end. We hug with gusto. We hug with sincerity. We hug with intimacy. We hug with deliberation. We can’t half hug. We hug you all the way (or not at all). Because we know the healing power of a warm embrace by instinct, and we are all in.

Hug means to embrace someone closely in your arms as a sign of affection and caring. Hug also means to accept and support someone. When you hug someone, it is not by accident. It is by design. You are stopping everything to reach out to someone and pull them close. You are singling each other out for support and connection.

When we embrace, there is an exchange of energy. We are literally heart to heart (a very intimate position). Because of this, empaths are a little careful about who they hug. The exchange of energy is palpable, so we want to be careful about what energies are infiltrating our hearts. We will absorb the energy we lay our hearts next to, so we will sidestep and avoid disingenuous and hurtful hugs and huggers.

We hug for healing. Hugs help us to release emotions and relax into the moment. They are reassurances that we will be all right. Embraces reduce stress and promote calm. Hugs reduce anxiety and promote happiness.

“So, how many hugs should you have a day for optimal health? According to the best science, we should have as many as possible if we want to reap the greatest positive effects. Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, ‘We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.’ While that may sound like a lot of hugs, it seems that many hugs are better than not enough.” -Erica Cirino  @ https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits#1

So hug with intention knowing that every embrace is a connection and a gift.




What an Old Dog Can Teach Us

People say that you learn a lot from your old dog. Now I am one of those people. My dog is entering the twilight of his life with grace, and I’m trying to enter it with grace too. He still greets each day happy just to be here, and I am reminded (because of him) that each day is a gift. So make the most of it.

My dog is 10 1/2, which is old, but not ancient, in dog years. He has survived cancer (had a tumor removed from his leg a few years back) and lyme disease (8 years ago). Only now I have learned that lyme disease never really goes away. It has caused him nerve deterioration, and the ligaments in his back legs have slowly frayed. But I am taking my cues from him – instead of railing at fate, I am accepting that it is what it is. And we will manage it together. With grace.

Mobility and pain management are our new concerns, and my dog trusts me with his care. Every day he looks to me with his big brown eyes, and every day I rise to the occasion. I earn his trust by making his life more manageable and adjusting his living space and medication. We now have a maze of throw rugs downstairs, so he doesn’t slip and fall on the wood floors. We’ve moved his dog bed into the living room. We carry him into the car for vet trips, and he feels safe in our arms and doesn’t struggle. He takes his medicine happily because it’s wrapped in treats. And walks. We can’t take long walks any more, but he is still happy to go outside on very short ones. He reminds me that it is a joy just to breathe fresh air, and every day we can do that is a good day.

So what will be our parting gift to each other? That we will just be us together for as long as we can. Dear companions who have shared a family, a home, some adventures, and love. Lots of love.