“I need to be kindest to the man I love most in the world.” My thoughts the day after arguing. I teach kindness, but I wasn’t so kind to my guy last night. I made the wrong choice to be impatient, to be dismissive, to be unkind. Words were exchanged. Doors were closed. Feelings were hurt. And I felt our negative energy all night long. Was it worth it? No. Definitely no.
Arguments between significant others are often spontaneous displays of different agendas. I need this right now, but you want that right now. But I don’t care what you need or want right now. Aren’t you even listening to what I am saying? Something like that sound familiar? We all fall into that trap. Especially when we are tired or overwhelmed. Especially when we are working with little time left and little energy left. I would wager that most arguments like these happen at the end of a long day.
I am not at my best when I am exhausted. So what to do? (I do not live alone and I won’t be left alone.) You can own it. Affirm to yourself that you are tired and may be easily annoyed. Tell yourself not to engage in conflict (unless it is about something extremely important). Take some breaths and count or bite your tongue. Why? Because the fallout from an unimportant argument will be worse for you, oh sensitive one. You will feel bad for the rest of the night. Oh, and you will feel your partner’s bad. That’s double bad. Who wants to feel double bad?
If you’ve read my page for awhile, you will know that I love sunrises. Dawn is beautiful. Light, hope, and love return with each day. And we often see things more clearly in the morning. Begin the day with an honest apology. Extend the olive branch. Because really, you love this person more than anything, and this person loves you just as much. So tell them with an I’m sorry.