Empath With Intention

Awareness ~ Acceptance ~ Intention.

Living with intention means living with focus for the higher good of yourself and others. Living with intention is being completely authentic in and completely present to life. It is saying yes to the greater good at any given moment. ( And it is also saying no to that which harms you or others.) It is vibrating up even when the world tries to knock you down. It is knowing who you are, what gifts you can share, and how you can continue to grow.

Before we can live with intention, we need self-understanding  – part self-awareness, part self-acceptance. What does that look like for an empath? Of course, everyone has their own singular experiences, but the big takeaways would be the same. (Different paths, same world.) Know who your are. Know what it means to be an empath. Then push past knowing to self-acceptance. This is a little tougher, especially when emotional connection and emotional depth are often undervalued in society. Value it anyway. That is our super power. Shine like a lighthouse. You were born for it.

Intention is defined:

1: a determination to act in a certain way : resolve
3a : what one intends to do or bring about
b : the object for which a prayer or pious act is offered
4: a process or manner of healing of incised wounds
                                                   (Merriam- Webster)
Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Our determination will reflect what is important to us. We will validate and see the significance of our own and others’ emotions and connect to bring about change and healing (for ourselves and others). We understand the power and process of healing wounds; move through it without letting it envelop you. We can help you. We can show you by example. We can be present for you.
The world is a better place with you in it. Get clarity. See yourself and your gifts. Walk through the world with intention. One connection at a time . . . .



We Do Because We Must

How do you right yourself when there is so much wrong in the world? That’s my million dollar question these days. How do we continue to spread healing, hope, and light (kinda the empath’s mission) in this world without being crushed by its meanness? How do we get up each day to face the onslaughts against compassion and unity and continue to have hope for humanity?

We do because we must.

We can start our days by giving healing, hope, and light to ourselves. Light a candle, say a prayer, watch the sunrise. Do yoga stretches, listen to quiet music, take a walk, do whatever centers you. Feed your body well. How we start our days affects how we will handle the day’s energy. Feel peace, be peace, give peace.

We can control our input. In these days of news and social media, we get to decide what stories we feed our brains. Choose well. There are MANY choices out there. Don’t fall in to the top news stations. Empaths are very sensitive to visuals, and horrific videos and photos will have us in knots and despair in seconds. Reading the news is better for us. Through social media outlets, we can also choose sites that send us stories of help and hope throughout the world.

We can go out in nature. Nature is always a source of hope. Appreciate your corner of the world and take care of it. Times when we can’t get outside, we can drink in nature photos right on our computers or plan our next getaway to a beautiful place. When you feel the Earth suffering, crying, bleeding, do what you can to protect it. Donate. Speak up. Show up. Vote. Share. Give thanks for its bounty.

We can surround ourselves with those who want to better the world, not condemn it. Light givers, not light extinguishers. Hope breeds hope, so hang out and work with hopeful people as much as possible. And children. Spend time with children. Children are full of light, energy, and hope. And pets. Pets are in the moment no grudge holders who are delighted just to be in your presence. Bask in their glow.

Hope is what keeps us from falling into the abyss. Hope may seem like a sunset – beautiful and brilliant and slowly disappearing. Yet, hope is also a beautiful and wondrous sunrise – and it always returns.



Hear the Quiet

“Hear that?” “What?” “The quiet.” [We listen. I sigh.] “Isn’t it wonderful?” We have this conversation periodically in our household. It’s a reminder to me to welcome the peace that is reflected in the silence. Because quiet makes you slow down and take notice. I breathe it in every chance that I get. It is restorative. Quiet reminds you to check in with yourself, to check in with your life. And for the empath, it gives you the opportunity to separate from the energy of others. Quiet has its own energy, and it offers us a much welcomed respite from the cacophony of others.

Quiet…. is a gateway to tranquility, healing and restoration, offers real physical benefits. It induces a mind-body connection that’s been demonstrated to relax muscles, lower anxiety and pain, and enhance one’s overall sense of control and well being. And all spiritual disciplines embrace it as the pathway to the divine, whether through silent meditation, prayer, chants or visual imagery. (Suzanne Clores, Feb. 2, 2012, The Benefits of Quiet for Body, Mind, and Spirit, nextavenue.org)

So we know that quiet is beneficial for health, but how can we find some in our daily lives on a regular basis? Expand the definition and location of quiet. There are different kinds of quiet, and yours may look different from mine, and ours may look different on any given day. I like to think of quiet as on a spectrum – you have to find the right one at the right time (but seek it, you must!). There is the stillness of quiet found in meditation and prayer. There is the beauty of quiet found in a walk through nature, perhaps with your dog. There is the silent gaze of love at your beloved when words are not necessary. There is the momentary escape into silence when the parent hides in the bathroom to regroup from the demands of parenting. There is the silent, active hiker, bike rider, and runner. There is the quiet reader, the peaceful baker, the solitary writer, the contemplative tea sipper, and the list goes on.

Our methods may be different, but no matter how we experience quiet during our days, it will be restorative. So, play with your opportunities for quiet, and see which give you the most benefit. And remember, quiet is a sound. Enjoy it!

Empath ~ the Outlier in Your Midst

Empaths are outliers hiding in plain sight. You don’t know about us (usually), but you do know us. We are your friend who hears your secrets, your family member who sees all sides, your co-worker who’s a good listener. We are your intense lover. We are your truth teller. We are your hand holder. You invite us in and ask us to stay; you want us with you, but you may not know why.

Empaths are insiders who are outsiders. We are the observers in a group who feel what others are feeling. Because we can “read people,” we contribute much to group dynamics, discussions, and decisions. Our emotional instincts guide us and others well. I’ve read that empaths make up 2 to 3% of the population which makes us outliers. (I think this is a better term than outsiders.)  An outlier is a person who differs from the other members of a particular group. Outliers are on the extreme fringe of something. And empaths are on the extreme end of the emotional spectrum.

So what’s it like being an emotional outlier? For me, I struggled with it for a long time. I didn’t understand how to walk the line between who I was and what I experienced. How could I be part of a group and true to how I felt? I made a lot of mistakes, and I got hurt a lot. I was criticized for being too sensitive. (I have Jersey roots, and Jersey girls are supposed to be tough!) I was told to stop crying when I felt overwhelmed. I slammed doors and listened to very loud music for emotional release. Lost and broken people gravitated toward me and depleted much of my inner strength.

It’s true that with age comes wisdom. For empaths, it’s usually wisdom learned from hard experiences. You learn to step away from that which harms you, and especially that which harms your children. You learn to stop offering yourself as a perennial sponge for any passing tentacles, and the tentacled creatures go away looking for other hosts. You learn your limits, and that you actually have them! You learn to accept and not just to give. You learn to honor yourself and live as an empath ~ an emotional outlier.

As we are, so we see. ~ William Blake


In Spring, Everything Is Full of Promise

Spring, oh I love you, Spring! Nature’s rebirth is our seasonal blessing! What joy to see your greenery once again! What happiness to breathe your fragrance once again! What contentment to hear your birds in the morning once again! What reassurance to feel your soft turf under our weary feet! Our senses come alive and we drink you in in big gulps of gratitude. For Spring is the season of hope and the season of promise. And I love it because it restores my soul through its resilient persistence. It always shows up.

So you may say that all seasons are special. All seasons are unique. True enough. But what other season brings back life? Only spring. It is our metaphor for the human condition. That hope will return.

Spring and hope are intertwined in the mind, body, and soul. In spring, nature conspires with biology and psychology to spark the basic needs that underlie hope: attachment, mastery, survival, and spirituality. It is true that hope does not melt away in the summer; it is not rendered fallow in autumn nor does it perish in the deep freeze of winter. But none of these other seasons can match the bounty of hope that greets us in the spring. (Anthony Scioli PhD, in Psychology Today, March 20, 2012)

Spring brings light. Light brings clarity. Light brings hope. Light brings healing. Spring, by example, inspires us to be whole and full and beautiful. To be our best and brightest selves. Spring pulls us out of the depths of our personal winters back into the light of hope – just like Persephone rising in Greek mythology from the Underworld every spring. We rejoice, we rejoice.

Louis Armstrong’s celebration of spring in his song “What a Wonderful World” says it all:

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world

Oh, yeah….