It was our first night home from the hospital with our first child. And my first husband left and went out to a concert with his friends. Crazy, huh? The problem is at the time, I accepted it as not crazy. I justified it by saying he wants to go more than I don’t want him to go. So I swallowed the hurt, and he went. And I stayed home alone with a crying newborn. This kind of behavior was mine for many years with a handful of people close to me. Their emotions and wants trumped mine. Every time. Didn’t know what was happening. Didn’t know I was an empath.
Empaths are emotional chameleons by nature. A young empath will unknowingly blend into others. They will take on other’s emotions as theirs. They may see other’s desires as paramount to theirs. A more experienced empath will recognize that they CAN blend with someone else, but will make some conscious choices for each situation. They will know someone’s feelings and experiences but not OWN them. They will not let your desires overwhelm their own.
An empath needs to learn not to open the door to everyone who knocks and not to say yes to everyone’s demands. This is hard for an empath, as we are full of compassion and consideration. Yet, empaths are not here to be the welcome wagon for emotional upheaval and unfinished business. We are here to help others find their own lights, but not to give them ours. So don’t fling open the door. Proceed with some caution. Take a quick sensory check. Trust your intuition. You don’t have to invite everyone into your heart – even if they really, really, really want you to. You do have choices.
Intensity and empaths. We thrive on intensity. Intense people. Intense music. Intense conversations. Intense sex. Intense experiences. We take on intense demands, and we like being intensely wanted and needed. It is intoxicating for an empath. Intimate connection is great, but make sure there is an exchange of energy. Don’t give yours all away. Share intense experiences, but don’t get run over. No one wants tire tracks on their faces/hearts. Learn to balance intense connection with others with intense peace and quiet for yourself.
New to understanding yourself as an empath? Seek information. I especially like reading Judith Orloff. You don’t have to hold the crying baby forever.