What you say to yourself is more important than what others say to you or about you. No one knows you and understands you like you do. You spend all your time with you. You know where you have come from and where you would like to go. You are your best cheerleader and your best advocate. You can use your unique position to your advantage….or not.
Sadly, you are not always kind to you. Sometimes you yell at you. Sometimes you call you names. Sometimes you even swear at you. This does not help you. It only hurts you. Deeply. Very deeply.
You may be thinking “Well, someone has to tell the truth. Someone needs to point out the mistakes.” But really, you know the truth. You know when you have made a mistake. Yelling at yourself only adds insult to injury. Feeling stupid never helps anyone heal.
Instead, treat yourself like you would a good friend or family member. What would you say to him or her? Is there a way to look at bad judgment and mistakes and acknowledge them without going down the road of self-hatred? To take it as a hard lesson learned, your part in the drama, and use it as a learning experience from which you will recover? Self-reflect, but in a caring and concerned way toward yourself.
Then take the next step. Thoughts, speech, and actions are all intimately related. Recognizing that is step one. Think about and talk about what direction you would like you to go. What would be good for you. Start moving in that direction – one step at a time.
Think about your life and talk to yourself in a positive manner. Use affirmations. A lot. Affirmations are assertions of who you are and what you want in life. They send out your message to the universe that this is who I am and this is where I am headed. They are always written and said in the present tense.
I am attaching an article from HuffPost by Dr. Carmen Harra about the life affirming power of affirmations. She gives a list of 35 affirmations to pick from, but she also encourages you to write you own. Pick some. Think them. Speak them. Act on them. You will grow and shine. You know it.