Self-Discovery

I am a seeker, and I believe that you are too, or you wouldn’t be reading this page. We seek truth in spirit through experience and feeling. We want to KNOW.

We are drawn to those who can teach us more about faith, compassion, and our expanding spirit. They give us the bravery to expand our definitions of faith and to turn inward to brighten our own lights. My spiritual teachers have given me hope and healing, and by their example, have led me to new experiences and depths I would not have traversed on my own.

Spiritual teachers have appeared in my life at difficult times, and each one has taken my hand to lead me deeper down my own spiritual journey.  It has not been the easy way, but it has been the meaningful way. Each person had something to teach me, something to show me, something to lead me to a more enlightened state of consciousness.

I am grateful for those seen and unseen who guide me toward light and wholeness and oneness. May we believe that which we feel until it becomes that which we know.

It’s a stormy time for our country this election season. I can feel the anxiety that is pulsating through our people. They are very worried. Empaths can feel this worry more acutely. We can feel these unsettling emotions hovering all around us and passing through us. It’s hard to keep the negative emotions at bay.

So what can we do? First, be clear with yourself about what you believe. Then you will not be as open to absorb other’s feelings that may be toxic or at least draining for you.

Second, be careful about what you put in your brain. When you see something, that image is burned into your brain forever. When you hear something, it is never erased. Turn off the TV. Delete from social media. Unplug the hatred. Exercise control over the images and sounds that are entering your life from without.

Nurture yourself as best you can during this turbulent time. Help what ails you. Eat better. Seek out quiet. Focus your emotions using books, music, and pictures. Love your pets. Spend time with those who are steady and supportive.

Reassure yourself and others that this too shall pass. The election will be over, and the sun will still rise again on Wednesday morning. We are a strong people. We will be okay.

Life is a journey. The older you get, the more you realize what that actually means. A journey implies that it’s not easy. A journey implies that it will take work. A journey suggests that what you are striving for, working for, moving toward is worth the effort. There will be highs, lows and plateaus. You will experience joy and sorrow. Sometimes you will be prepared, and sometimes you will be blindsided. Sometimes you will have choice, and sometimes things will happen to you that are out of your control.

You are going on a long and arduous journey. There is no way not to go. So do you partner up with someone or do you go it alone? It’s up to you. Either way you are going. Do you want to go by yourself? Or do you want to go with __________? If you go with someone, don’t expect them to carry you. If you go with someone, don’t carry them. If you go alone, be open to other’s help along the way.

Make it a conscious choice, and have faith in yourself and in the light that guides you.

Many have used doors to describe an idea or concept when trying to explain something to someone else – either verbally or in writing. The same symbol of a door, however, holds different meanings for different people. The meaning is related to one’s experiences and to how one understands one’s experience, which will often occur in retrospect.

I am curious if other empaths have the same view of doors as I do. I feel that I am guided to the right ones and barred from the wrong ones. Although, I don’t always see this as it is happening. I’m getting better at following the signs and trusting my heart intuition.

Over the years, I feel that I have been presented with closed doors and with open doors. Oddly enough, I was not the one to open or close them. Yet, my actions were what brought me to the doors in the first place. Many closed doors were reached after something that I did, some action that I took, something that I wanted. Those were the heartbreak doors saying this one is not for you. The open doors often stood open for awhile before I walked through them. Yet looking back, I can see that the steps that I was making in my life were the stepping stones leading up to an open door. As I was growing, the door was opening.

Here is an example of what I mean. I was looking for a different job after completing some courses. I was sure that I would get a job in a certain city, but a job in my field in a different city kept appearing – an open door so to speak. I saw the job listing and someone told me about it, but I didn’t think my qualifications in one area were good enough, so I didn’t apply. Finally when the job appeared to me again (time number three if you are counting), I decided, okay, this is a sign. I am supposed to apply for this job. So, I stepped through that open door and applied. End of story is that I did get the job, and it was the right fit for me.

So what is the take away here? Don’t keep banging on the heartbreak door. Keep your options open. If an open door appears, think about going through. If you get clear signs that you are supposed to enter the door, even if it is just to check out the new space on the other side, go! Walk through. You can do it.

I used to live near a park that had a lake and a small jetty. I would walk there by the water and out on the jetty when I needed to think, when I needed a break from my life and time to breathe. A few moments alone. I could walk and think and look out over the water.  Seeing the vastness of the lake was calming and reassuring.

I was on the verge of making a big decision in my life that would have major repercussions. It was something that could not be taken back once decided. I had been thinking about it for about two years. In distress, I walked to the park. It was early fall and the air smelled of it. I walked to release stress and I looked out over the water knowing that whatever I did in my life, this place would still be here and still be the same tomorrow and the next day and the next. The lake was calm.

I asked for a sign. I prayed for a sign to help me move forward. I saw a single fish leap out of the lake and quickly return under its depths. The leap made many circles of water outward interrupting the calm of the lake’s surface. I thought, is this my sign? Am I to take that leap knowing that it will be disruptive and far-reaching like the circular wake of the fish who had leaped? I noticed that eventually and in its own time, the lake water became calm again. A jump, a change of disruption long reaching, but then tranquility regained. Was this a symbol for me? A metaphor to leap and know that it would make ripples but that they would dissipate and a balance would return. Was I reading too much into this “sign”?

I prayed again. The exact same thing happened in the exact same place. One fish. One jump. Ripples. Time. Calm. I knew that I had gotten my sign, and I moved forward.

For the biggest decisions that I’ve made in my life, I’ve had to physically go there.  I’ve needed to be physically present at a place or physically present with a person to recognize the right decision. As an empath, I need proximity to feel it in my heart. That is where our intuition lies. In the heart chakra. Once that I am physically present in a situation, I know what to do.

We all make life changing decisions. We can think and ruminate about a big decision or a big change in direction for weeks, months, and even years. There comes a time when the scales tip – it is more painful to stay than to go. But I have to FEEL the right of the decision before I make a move. Once I feel it, I head down that new path, and I do not waver. I may be heading away from something, but by the time I feel my decision, I am heading toward something too.

The trusting of one’s heart intuition is innate. I did not develop this sense, but I had to learn to trust it. To trust the way I am. Only now am I learning how to express what it is like. This heart intuition has led me to take a job or not, to fall in love or not, to grow a family or not, to pursue a friendship or not, to read a book or not, etc. I write here now because I feel that it is the right decision and that I have been brought to this path at this moment.

This is not to say that I am alone in my empathy. Spiritual leaders teach compassion and understanding, including understanding of one’s self. They teach us to observe, to pray, to be grateful, to be kind. Prayer can be as natural to us as breathing. So I do seek strength and guidance from God when I am making a big change in my life. And I ask for signs.

“What are you going to do with it?” Honestly, the question took me by surprise. I thought, “Well I don’t have to do anything with it.” Immediately followed by, “do I?”

The question stayed with me and settled on my heart for awhile. It was posed by someone who I consider a healer. I trusted that an answer would find me. It did. My path gradually took shape and then became clear. I will write. I will write a Facebook page and a blog. My guiding principle will be what I know to be true, and what I have made the tagline for my endeavors. The light in me recognizes the light in you.

Full disclosure – I am an empath. I have lived my life with a certain intensity and compassion. I know because I feel from my heart. That is where my intuition lies. However, until last year, I had not heard this word – empath. It came to me internally in one bold lettered word. Empath. And I thought, what is that? It appeared so clearly that I realized I needed to find out what it meant. The same evening, I was able to find information. I was reading about myself. How I have always been. The word empath gave me a framework and the words to describe how I exist in the world. It was truly an A-ha moment, and I am thankful for it.

So dear reader, my plan is to add some insight and interest from the lens of an empath. I offer some stories and reflections. And most of all, I encourage you to nurture your own inner light.